Two Lessons from an Ambulance Ride

A friend of mine had an ambulance ride to an emergency room last month.

He was driving on 91 early in the morning when he suddenly felt lightheaded. Then very lightheaded. The kind of lightheadness you get in the immediate aftermath of a concussion (yup, he’s had a couple). He pulled off the highway, checked Google maps for ‘Emergency Medical’ and managed to get to a clinic a few minutes later.

He described it to a nurse as ‘feeling weird.’ A PA took his BP, it’s was off the charts. They put on EKG pads while asking, “So, how bad are your chest pains?”

“No chest pains,” he answered.

“Well, you must.”

“Nope.”

The EKG was fine, but his BP was so high they called an ambulance. The ambulance guys showed up . . . by the way, we need to note here, just like he did, that everyone though every step of the way was incredibly nice.

Ambulance guys, “Are your chest pains getting worse.”

“No chest pains”

“They’re gone?”

“Never had them.”

On the way to the hospital the EMT  filled our friend in on the stroke he suffered on the job a few years ago. Our friend’s BP spiked again. Is felt serious.

In the ER he filled in six successive RNs, PAs. and MDs on this: he hadn’t slept in a week because of the shoulder; he has a high threshold of pain and sometimes it gets the best of him; he ran more than usual over the last week and a half; he flew out of the house that morning and downed about four cups of coffee on an empty stomach.

All six continued to ask about chest pains. Through blood tests and xrays, it was the mantra – you have to have chest pains. They compared the EKGs from the clinic, ambulance, and the ones they ran every ten minutes or so – no changes, looks great . . . and still, ‘about those chest pains.’

He patiently explained that his lower shoulder was in pain from cumulative sports injuries over a coupleof decades, and yada, yada, yada . . . only to be asked about the chest pains again.

About now, he was starting to get really nervous, as if he should be experiencing cheat pains. And he started getting scared. Then the ER nurse asked him if he had a living will and a power of attorney, just in case.

The ‘just in case’ spiked his blood pressure yet again. His answer, “Yes, but I have no idea where they are . . . maybe in a sock drawer someplace.” He did not add that they were exactly the same age as his youngest child – 19.

It was sobering. He knew, at that point – which was not helping – he could have a stroke or heart attack any second and be out of it for awhile. Decisions might have to be made and the documents that could have helped were somewhere in his house.

That in mind, he went for x-rays and a few other tests. Every tech asked the same question, “How are your chest pains?”

Finally, the head doctor showed up. He listened to the story – well rehearsed and really polished by now. He checked the shoulder, he checked my friend’s MapMyRun app, looked at the EKGs for a few extra seconds and, “Okay, we don’t have the blood work back yet but I’m pretty sure we’re going to find that you’re dehydrated and the caffeine nailed you and in conjunction with the pain and lack of sleep …. boom. Relax, you should be out of here in an hour or so. Someone will come by to tell you I’m right . . .  oh, and really, neither one of us is thirty anymore, right? Stop eating shit and keep running.”

He nailed it.

There are two reasons I’m writing about this today. The first, my friend is a lawyer and he hadn’t reviewed his basic estate documents in almost 20 years. He didn’t even know where they were. This could have been disastrous for him and his family.

Always review and update your documents. and, when you do, use a lawyer who deals in estate planning every day.

Because that’s the second part of this: my friend was ill and fit a profile. Middle-age, overweight guy with high BP labeled him immediately, because, really, what are the odds? Yet, everything he told everyone, through every step, contradicted that label. It wasn’t so much that no one was listening to him, no one was processing what he said because it didn’t fit their experience.

Because they were, of absolute necessity, generalists.

By the end of the day, our friend was sick of telling his story over and over and over again. It was exhausting.

So . . .  about estate law. Go to the people who have the experience to know enough to never label a client. Those are the attorneys who listen because they know no two estate plans in the history of the Republic have ever been the same.

It’s exhausting to tell your story over and over again. Do it once with someone who knows what to look for.